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Home » Resources » “How To Overcome The Fear Of Failure & Rejection” by Jay Conner

“How To Overcome The Fear Of Failure & Rejection” by Jay Conner

What’s the No. 1 reason people don’t take action?

I encourage you to ask this question today, especially if you haven’t raised any private money yet. If you’re honest with yourself, I bet the answer will always be that fear has entered the equation. Fear is the biggest roadblock most people have to overcome. We’re afraid of failure, or we’re afraid of rejection, or we might even be afraid of the unknown. I know I was nervous the first time I approached a potential lender. My first potential private lender was in my warm market, who I knew from church. I didn’t even have my 16-minute CD recording to hand out yet. I didn’t know exactly what I was going to say or what the outcome would be, but I chose to act in spite of my fear.

When you recognize fear is the reason you’re not taking action, the next thing you should do is ask, “What’s the worst that could happen?” In the case of raising private money, the worst thing that can happen when you approach a potential lender is that you don’t get any money. I often remind people, you can’t lose what you don’t have. After I approached my first potential lender in church, I ended up getting $250,000. What would have happened if I had let fear keep me from acting? I would have gotten nothing.

I usually teach people how to raise and attract private money. Today, I want to teach you how to overcome any fear that may be holding you back. There are four quotes that illustrate exactly what you need to achieve to overcome fear:

“The most successful people learn to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.”

This quote, spoken by Rick Harrison from the show “Pawn Stars” at a convention I attended some time ago, really resonated with me. When I spoke to my first private lender, I was nervous. When I gave my first presentation to real estate investors, I could barely sleep the night before. I was about to step out of my comfort zone, and that’s a scary thing. But in order to achieve the results I wanted, I needed to train myself to become a different person who felt comfortable doing these things.

The idea of a comfort zone comes from what’s called a homeostatic impulse. This is what keeps our bodies at a consistent 98.6 degrees and what encourages us to follow what’s normal and familiar. But successful people aren’t normal! They regularly go out and do new things they aren’t comfortable with and start to look forward to getting out of their comfort zone. Allow yourself to do things that might make you feel uneasy.

“The struggle ends when the gratitude begins.”

The opposite of fear is love. Your fear — your struggle — cannot exist when you feel love, particularly self-love and gratitude. When I speak on stage, I begin with affirmations. “I believe in myself. I believe in others. Others believe in me. I trust myself. I trust others. Others trust me. I attract millions in private money, and I have a millionaire mind.” I don’t just say these things — I believe them every day. You rise above the fear when you believe in yourself.

“You become what you think about most of the time.”

Another way of saying this is, “Your dominant aspirations and thoughts become your reality.” If I’m thinking about my fear, if I’m afraid I’m going to mess up a deal and lose someone’s money, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Successful people have the discipline to keep their mind focused on only the things they desire. They don’t get distracted by their fears.

“Focus equals manifestation.”

In other words, everything that happens works its way from the inside out. This is the law of correspondence. We are responsible for everything that happens to us. If you’re shaking your head right now and thinking, “No way, Jay. There are things that have happened in my life that I didn’t do. Those weren’t my fault!” then you’re letting fear hold you back. We have to take responsibility and accept we’re in our present situation entirely because of our past actions.

Here’s the good news, though: When you take responsibility for your actions, you can change your future at any time. What manifests in your future comes directly from your thoughts and actions right now. You experience joy, health, and real estate success by thinking about how you will achieve these things and not let yourself be dragged down by negative or contradictory thoughts that contradict your desires.

The bottom line is, when you overcome you fear, you move in the direction of something that’s bigger and better. Today, I have 44 private lenders and millions of dollars in funding from those lenders because I took action and left fear behind. So, what are you going to do differently? What’s holding you back? What’s the fear you need to analyze? What action are you going to take now that you have feared in the past?


– Jay Conner

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One Response to “How To Overcome The Fear Of Failure & Rejection” by Jay Conner

  1. Kim Ray says:


    Other books, mentors I’ve talk to said mindset is 80% while other would stake 95%. In any event, it’s a significant element and often overlooked.

    Mindset is from the inside-out.

    Just heightens the need for a mentor to guide, rebuke, encourage along the way to reduce painful mistakes.

    “Worst case” scenario is useful logic. No action would equal no results. At least by trying, there’s potential. And you have a valuable, legitimate service to offer.

    Ending the article w/ questions to self-reflect are write a draft plan are helpful to spur us to take action.

    Many thanks.

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