“3 Ways to Improve Your Communication and Close More Deals” – Jay Conner

“Jay, is it true that when you meet with the seller of a house, you shouldn’t be wearing lots of jewelry or drive a fancy car because the seller might think that you’re a shark?”

This question came from a viewer of a livestream I hosted recently. Over the years, I’ve hosted dozens of events and livestreams and have been asked tons of questions. I don’t think anyone has ever asked me whether or not they should think twice about wearing jewelry before. I tried not to take the question as a personal comment against the rings and watch I was wearing during the livestream.

I have heard some people say that you should never pull up to a deal while driving your Cadillac or your Porsche. This is advice I willfully ignored a few weeks ago, when I went to a house that was going to be a $40,000 rehab and parked my black Cadillac on the street. I closed that deal while wearing my jewelry, and the seller walked away happy.

After rehabbing over 400 houses, I’ve learned that what you drive is much less important than how you communicate. My colleague, Chaffee Nguyen, made a great point during our last live event. During a mindset event, he said, “The quality of your communication determines the quality of your life.”

People pay attention and respond to the ways in which other people communicate. This is as true in business as it is in your personal relationships. It all comes down to how good of a communicator you are. If you find yourself struggling in your business or in life, then it’s time to examine the quality of your communication.

Communication is broken down into three parts: body language, tone of voice, and word choice. Believe it or not, the words you speak are actually the least important part of communication.

Body Language

Professor Albert Mehrabian was a pioneer in the field of communication. His research found that 55% of communication between humans is entirely nonverbal. Most of our communication is through body language, whether we realize it or not. Body language has nothing to do with your tone of voice or the words you’re using. It’s not even about what you’re wearing. It’s all about what the other person sees.

People know if you’re sincere. They can tell by the way you hold yourself and the way you treat the conversation. Are you really listening to what they’re saying, or are you just waiting for your chance to talk again? Your body language lets them know. People know if you are genuinely invested in what their thoughts or concerns are.

Tone of Voice

The second most important component of communication is your tone of voice. Professor Mehrabian’s research found that 38% of communication is through tone. Less is conveyed through than body language, but that doesn’t mean your tone is unimportant. Do you sound friendly and engaging? Are you coming off as condescending or conceited? It doesn’t matter how nice or helpful your words are if your tone is rude.

The Words You Say

The words you speak only make up 7% of communication. I wish more people realized this. Too many people get caught up on choosing just the right words. They’re so worried about sounding smart that they aren’t really interested in communicating with other people. This is why you end up in conversations with people who are more interested in what they’re going to say next than in what you’re saying to them. My lands! Think about how beautiful the world would be if people would just listen and stop worrying about what they’re going to say next.

Success comes down to your actual communication with another person. I don’t try to go be someone else when I’m visiting with a seller. I am who I am, and I have found that it’s better to be yourself when doing business. My car and my jewelry aren’t going to distract from the fact that I’m genuinely interested in serving people. My servant’s heart will come across — it always has.

People can tell if you’re being dishonest or putting up a front. They pick up on it and might be less likely to trust you. If you’re not a shark, then you can wear all the jewelry you want and drive any vehicle you prefer without worrying that anyone is going to think you’re untrustworthy. Don’t worry about material things. Focus on your communication skills. The way you communicate when negotiating with buyers and sellers is the most important skill you can develop.